[dot*]

2010-08-31T02:49:00.001+08:00

I thought...

I would still be lying on that couch thinking of you.

that I would walk past that lonely lamp post everyday.

I wouldn't be thinking of what-ifs.

You'd be there to catch me when I fall.

I could finally see the silver lining amongst the inky hue

I'd stop caring.

I thought I would really be fine.

I guess I didn't think it through...

Football My Foot!

2010-06-26T22:05:00.001+08:00

Most of my friends know me as the anti-football guy who watches Project Runway that knows nuts about the game. I've never liked it. I wasn't brought up watching it. And I'm that guy in class who skips P.E every week cos all they do is kick the blardy ball around the field.

But anyways, one day, while sitting in a cafe, my sister seemed interested in a game that was about to start on TV, which kinda surprised me cos my family doesn't talk about football...... AT ALL

So there's this weird thing where the members of both teams sing their respective national anthems before the game begins... And so she began commenting

J.Anne: Oooo so the white ones are New Zealand izit? Wooo then that means the blue ones are Slovakia?
Me: *pretends to listen*
J. Anne: OOOO... Eh, then what country are the yellow colour ones????

the yellow ones

See Nat???? It's not my fault!!! It's in my FREAKING genes! LOL

2010-06-26T15:04:00.000+08:00

like everything else in my life...

screw it

When

2010-06-12T19:38:00.001+08:00

When you're sleeping with your eyes open,
at 5 in the morning,
there is no Chopin playing in the background.

When your back is against the wall,
breath constricted by emotions,
no tears come flowing.

When your gazes meet,
there is no spark, only dejection.

When you hug,
you wish it was mutual.

When your mind is numb with grief,
you heart is turbulent with affliction.

When you wish it lasted forever,
6 months,
slip through your fingers like sand

When you cry yourself to sleep,
you wake up the next day,
like nothing ever happened.

When you're not talking to each other,
you talk to yourself.

When you think they'd care,
They don't.

This ain't Hollywood.
This is fuckin' life

Beginning of the End

2010-06-07T00:23:00.001+08:00

Tastes like (-.-)凸 but it keeps me awake

Hello semester exams~

Pie

2010-06-04T00:08:00.000+08:00

What?!?!?!? It's JUNE already?

Sorry kids... Been swamped lately, the Internet at home is still dead, and my Semester exam is next week. I've been camping at a cafe everyday for the Internet and infinite Facebooking time to study for around 2 weeks. So in the meantime...

Here's a picture for you to stare at.

Cheers~

Got brains?

2010-05-22T23:26:00.000+08:00

You know, Facebook has the STUPIDEST advertisements...

What are you, four?

Jump

2010-05-19T17:31:00.002+08:00

It's really been awhile... I've been swamped with assignments, tests, and revision till I don't have much time to blog PLUS the internet at home is down so hahahahhahahaha die -.-

Anyways,

This happened the first month I was here. I had just settled in for a few weeks and a burglary had just happened in MY apartment. 2 of my housemates laptops were stolen and so this made everyone very jumpy and paranoid. So SOMEONE had this GENIUS idea of padlocking the gate one night. The next day, I HAD to wake up late and as I rushed to college, I frantically tried to unlock the padlock and naturally... the key didn't fit

Now, after 5 lousy months of college, I wouldn't be bothered the slightest bit if I turned up late for class but you know la, first month of college... must act guai a bit XD

but anyways, I asked my housemate to try using his key but his wouldn't fit either. And it was at that moment, my housemate suggested the only possible solution

"Jump out the window"

I won't begin to describe the skeptic look I shot him, but I was late so what the hell la... As I opened the window, I shut my eyes and braced myself. As I leapt from my bedroom window, I kept my eyes closed, hoping that would somehow lessen the impact. But it was then, that I realised...

Dude I live on the ground floor~ lol

Stalking 101

2010-05-09T11:30:00.002+08:00

from my friend's friend's profile that isn't even my friend on facebook, i found this guy who used to sit beside me in add maths tuition for a whole yr bt i hav nvr spoken to n found out tht his classmate is someone i know punya girlfriend's brother whom i've been meaning to stalk all this while... don't u just ♥ Facebook?

and this... is why people laugh and go into hysterics when I tell them I have a life~ lol

The Shit We Do

2010-05-02T00:30:00.001+08:00

You know when your friend gets a new girlfriend/boyfriend/pet, there'll be that shit ass period where they do all these mushy things (punch each other playfully, feel each other up etc.) and you'll be like:

yea so one of my friends is going through the 'early stages of a relationship' and when she and her boyfriends were holding hands, she snapped a picture of it and made it her handphone wallpaper. While all the girls were swooning and going all "Awwwww", my guy friend and I, did the most caring and sensitive thing EVER

we snapped this picture of us holding hands, switched it with her original wallpaper and waited to see how long it took for her to notice LOLOL

I TELL YOU, I'll never look into her boyfriend's face for the next 2 months - -

Credits to Ee Von

Attention Span

2010-04-26T23:24:00.001+08:00

Mom: Have you been paying attention in class?

Me: *scoffs* Uhh yeaaaaa

My Sociology notes

2010-04-24T23:52:00.002+08:00

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I just found out my Mac can do this....

awesome ¡

random™

December Late Bloomer

2010-04-22T17:00:00.000+08:00

I am damn proud

I am SO damn proud

I have never been this excited EVER

Why?

Cos I woke up one day and saw this XD WHAT? I've never shaved before k?

Don't judge me =D

Some Time Ago...

2010-04-21T01:22:00.003+08:00

We were doing our usual crap in the living room when the front door flung open. My two housemates were ogling at something outside intensely with curiosity written all over their faces. Unperturbed, I carried on with my Facebook-ing very complicated and tedious assignments, until...

"Ganna"

That piqued my interest. I scurried over to the door and saw my Mongolian room mate (Now ex-room mate >.<) sitting on the dull cement floor, his head swaying precariously over his slouched shoulders. His flushed cheeks and glum expression only further intensified the shiver that trickled up our spines from looking into his hollow, insentient eyes; cold, piercing, inexplicable.

"Ganna, are you alright?"

As though with superhuman effort, he managed to lock his gaze onto ours. His mouth was twitching. Beads of glistening sweat streamed down his forehead as his breath grew shorter and shorter; trapped, asphyxiated...

Friend: He just had a little bit too much to DRINK

All of us: CHEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Potong stim la!!!!!!! lol nahhhh my account above has been like 90% exaggerated la lol it really wasn't as AWESOME as I described it to be. Basically we just saw him sitting there and that was it =.= My life damn happening right? lol

But the next day, as I was rushing to college, I hastily locked the gate and was on my way. And then, I realised that I had stepped in....

his vomit... and yes, I still had time to snap a picture lol - -

FML

Of The Broken Buddha

2010-04-15T23:56:00.001+08:00

I'm not the most religious person in the world. I just wave the joss stick and hope someone doesn't get burnt~ Despite that, I DO wear all sorts of bracelets and necklaces (sometimes a tad too many) without knowing what the hell they're supposed to do. Which explains why last year, I decided to hang this Buddha-ish thing on my motorcycle keys for protection

Taken on 14 December 2009

And today... after one whole morning of traveling, I noticed that my keys were considerably lighter

ZOMG what does that mean!?!?!??!?!?!?!?! Got bad karma one a???????? O_O

Baby Steps

2010-04-14T23:50:00.002+08:00

I've been back in Kulim for almost a week now. To a certain extent, I DO miss Kulim, but frankly, I prefer Subang life more cos of the slacking around, the suppers, the late nights, the random swimming and jogging. I mean yeah meeting up with old friends is great and all but I stay home most of the time (cos not many of my friends know how to drive FML) and I also miss my college mates~

Speaking of which, because of the picture above that I posted on Facebook, we were talking about my hometown the other day and lotsa crap happened but the point is, we came across this Wiki article

AIRPORT? LRT? Are you serious??????????????? Why don't I know this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Waliew sure boh? Haiz baby steps la people.......

BUILD ONE LOUSY MCDONALD OUTLET FIRST LAAAAAAA

lol

Toes

2010-04-13T15:15:00.000+08:00

I think that from this post and this post and this post, it's established that I'm not exactly the most nimble person to be around. In other words, I'm a klutz. So it didn't surprise most of the people I knew when I told them that I had kicked a chair and injured my toe. (which BTW isn't my first 'toe-related injury')

At first I thought it was just a minor bruise that would go away in a few days. It didn't even hurt or anything (it did hurt on impact of course =.=) so I just let it be.

And as the days went by, my toe mutated into this:

After several calls to Gregory House & Derek Shepherd my dad, I found out that it was just a bruise under my toe which means that it'll be like that until a new toenail from below grows it out. Basically I'm stuck with this for another 1 or 2 months~

So what do you do when you're in a situation like this?

You colour your other toenails with highlighters~

Gawd I'm lifeless AND lame. Winning combination =.=
FML

JPA = Jangan Pandang Atas

2010-04-09T18:18:00.003+08:00

I've gotten lazy~

which explains the lack of updates and the short random posts. Just suddenly no mood lah... But I've previously made it a point to only blog when I feel like it, and so this sticks =D

I had my JPA interview earlier today. I didn't even want to apply for this in the first place... I mean the chances of me getting it are like a hundred to one and it's just SO tedious going all the way to Putrajaya and the application process is a bitch (well maybe not really but I'm damn lazy kay~) Forced by my dad, I got off my lazy butt, and hitched a ride with my cousin to the Putrajaya International Convention Center.

No pictures. No big epic story. Just that it went okay... answered the questions the best I could, BULLSHITTED about how the Federal Court doesn't have as much power as the House of Lords in England, which leads to problems in the Malaysian Court (the interviewers were buying it =.=), and told them that my favourite colour is white. No joke~

Aiya don't really care la... if i DO get it I'm not even sure I'll take it. I mean who wants to be bounded to the country for 10 effing years? Meh see how it goes~

Q: Where do you see yourself in the next 20 or 30 years?

Me: Happily married?

EPIC WIN!

Contradictory

2010-04-07T01:21:00.000+08:00

Something that sounds so wrong...

Emily, just make up your mind!

2010-04-02T00:40:00.002+08:00

This blog is officially out of hiatus

har har u wish~ April's Fool XD

15

2010-02-28T23:58:00.002+08:00

My family has never been grand on Chinese New Year decorations... We have no lanterns and no giant, red banners. My parents have never tried making the house in line with the CNY mood (fireworks don't count) I mean this is my house,

Before CNY

During CNY

And oh yea this is my house AFTER Chinese New Year

Yesh, back in Subang with a new room mate to boot! Studying everyday really takes the shit out of you... but on a lighter note, today's Chap Goh Meh...

who wants to pick my apples? XD

Guess The Crap #4

2010-02-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

As an answer to this post:

Yes, Taylor's residences rented out their apartment to Big Foot and The Abominable Snowman... It's like we friking molt~

LOL

2010-02-19T00:58:00.000+08:00

www.ooddee.com

Thank you Michelle!!! Now I have something to do other than stalking random people's blogs!

New Superstition

2010-02-18T00:34:00.002+08:00

Remember last year's "Oops-I-hit-the-longkang-and-dropped-the-motor-keys-into-the-drain-again" incident last year? Well I was more fortunate this year. Being the hiao person that I am, I decided to ride my motorbike to my grandparents' house on the first day of CNY (初一）knowing that my there wasn't much air left in my tyres (gone for one month ma).

And yah when I told my KL friends that I had a motorbike license, and that from where I come from almost every guy knows how to ride one, they were like:

Anyways,

Everything was fine until me and my cousin got bored. As the "older and more experienced one", I did the most sensible and productive thing to do:

I suggested that I show him how to fill up my petrol tank XD

Just to be safe, I made a trip to the Malay motorcycle shop to pump some air into my tyres but it wasn't open for OBVIOUS REASONS. Just as I was about to make a U-turn, yes, as if a Chinese New Year jinx, my tyre blew. I ended up riding back home at 10km/h while my cousin jogged behind me. So damn paiseh~~~~~

It should be a superstition to NOT take out your motorcycle during Chinese New Year =.= Well at least i didn't literally scar my uncle's leg for life again this time =D

But

2010-02-16T23:42:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year has yet to give me the 'warm and fuzzy' feeling that is supposed to be invoked. In fact, I feel bored. Having been away from home for around one month, I thought that CNY would be a refreshing break from my Facebook addiction hectic college schedule but nahhhh. Nothing.

Reunion dinners come and go. Most of the time, not as happening as I would've wanted it to be. My family is damn modern punya. While most of my friends gather at their respective grandparents' houses, my family pays a visit to the hotel with the most worthwhile buffet menu every year and shove mounds of food down our throats. Rinse and repeat. That's basically what we do every year. Frankly, I haven't gotten bored of the entire routine yet. To me, I know that Chinese New Year is of course important. Like it or not, it's an obligation. Even if you live with your relatives and see them every hour of the day, CNY is still a must. It's just who we are.

We drink. We gamble. We rejoice.

I mean if it was some wishy-washy holiday, I wouldn't mind skipping it *coughcoughthoseinmyfamilyyouknowwhatimeaninoeimabitchsueme* But anyways, I've never been away from home for so long. And I don't even feel slightly homesick. What I DO miss is my friends and all the things I could've done if I hadn't started college so soon. But alas, sad to say, I know this is bitchy, but you guys were a bit of a let down. I understand it's not your fault, and I see how much you try, but this FFK/PPK/FFJ shit really makes me want to board a one way bus back to Subang.

Call me sensitive. But that's what I am.

I guess this regular entry has turned into a long-winded rant. I'll be returning to KL (or whatever part of Malaysia THAT is... I call that entire place KL XD) tomorrow and truthfully, I'm happy. I honestly enjoyed all the time I spent with my family and friends, but I wish you guys would just give me a straight answer. Sometimes, I don't give a shit anymore. If you want to go out, just find me. I don't want to jio anyone out anymore.

Apparently, I have to diao geh (jual mahal/play hard to get)

Happy Chinese New Year. Dot

Mahjong tiles

CNY

2010-02-14T14:57:00.000+08:00

新年快乐！It's that time of year again where we eat and gain a 100 pounds.

You Know You've...

2010-02-11T23:39:00.000+08:00

been having one too many supper episodes with your housemate when....

the chair in your apartment breaks when your fat butt is on it~

like WTF la... I keep trying to tell myself it's the chair's fault XD

Going back to Kulim tomorrow =]
Goodbye McDonalds, hello Pizza Hut XD

Random Pic #13

2010-02-10T01:18:00.000+08:00

This is what my parents are paying RM 30,000 for... transexual pirates lol

Bernard

2010-02-09T00:51:00.001+08:00

This post is dedicated to Bernard

I used to have a dog named Bernard... He was a giant, slobbery St. Bernard that drooled on the floor, the couch, and on himself. His face was so big, it made his head look too big for his body. I'm not really sure what happened to Bernard but all I know we got him a female mate named Lassie, and well, she died XD but that's besides the point really~

Recently, I got a chance to see Bernard again... He hasn't changed much really~

lol pardon this post... just trying to bug my housemate =D and Bernard, you aren't truly my friend until I've edited your picture and somehow embarrassed you =S I mean why do you think Poh Heng and I are SUCH great friends?

Ultimate pwn-age!

Healthy Competition

2010-02-05T00:21:00.002+08:00

My college is currently having its elections for the Student Council, which is basically some very cool thing that controls the minds of its inferior course mates that requires real dedication and time. The campaigning period has already ended and students are vying for the positions in the SC; President, vice-president, Secretary, Treasurer, Head of Prom, and Head of Sub-Com (God knows what THIS job is)

Candidates have been rushing in and out of classes for this entire week with posters, promoting, making a stand, and of course, the one thing that truly wins our votes: sweets lol

I mean there isn't anything wrong in a little bit of healthy competition right?

WRONG

lol they must have really pissed someone off... BADLY
and I don't mean "Oops I did it again" piss off, I mean "you screwed with my mom" pissed =X

Blah I'm just gonna vote for the person that gave me the most candy (/^_^)/ \(^_^\)

Nahh I'm on Team J =]

Once Upon A Time

2010-02-04T18:22:00.003+08:00

Once upon a time,
you told me things no one knew

Once upon a time,
we would SMS till the break of dawn

Once upon a time,
you made me laugh so hard,
it hurt even after I stopped.

Once upon a time,
we had so much to talk about.

Once upon a time,
things just meant so much more.

Once upon a time,
we actually had fun.

Once upon a time,

I showed you my secret garden,

and spilled the ivy green contents of my heart.

Once upon a time,

I felt the river water trickling at my feet,

oblivious of the rising tide beyond the valleys of content.

Once upon a time,
I hated you,
but I loved you.

Once upon a time
Life was perfect...

I drifted. Or did you?

I don't know if this means much to you, but heck, do I still know you?

Guess The Crap #4

2010-02-03T23:51:00.000+08:00

Haven't had this in quite a while~

2010-01-31T00:41:00.003+08:00

Why can't I be like them?

Confident. Desired. Free.

Single Ladies

2010-01-24T18:33:00.001+08:00

I don't know about you, but I found this rather disturbing~

Don't worry Joe, we all have problems too, even your sister Hannah~ =D

Laundry

2010-01-23T23:20:00.003+08:00

I'll be frank and say that I've never done laundry before. I've never so much as touched a washing machine let alone used it. (Well there WAS that one time at a supermarket but I don't think that counts) Yes, I'm spoilt. Sue me. =.= I mean hello~ I'm the guy that only until recently found out that people don't cook Maggi in microwaves (most people anyway) But living on my own meant that I had to step into unfamiliar territory:

LAUNDRY

So after having a thousand questions like which part of the washing machine do I stuff my dirty clothes in skim through my mind, I finally shut the lid, and let the machine run its course. What weirded me out was when I took out my clothes, they were all sort of powder-ish and not to mention my white beach pants are now in a rather ugly shade of blue

I mean I'm too lazy to sort out the whites from the donowadcolors and I share the washing machine here so sometimes my housemates use it and don't take out the clothes until the next day. The point is, I'd rather wash it once and get it over with.

And till today, I've managed to break two hangers... Don't ask how, it's too embarrassing~

But it's not too bad right? At least I'm doing everything else correctly!~

Right?

Of Facebook Statuses

2010-01-20T23:31:00.003+08:00

This video is true in a way. I mean you never know when or what will happen to you. Like the recent unfortunate Penang Chung Ling High School dragon boating incident that swept the lives of a number of students. Life is unpredictable. So it IS important to be careful of what you post as your Facebook/MySpace/Twitter status or you may just find yourself retaining that status for the rest of your life (or not). For the next 50 years or so, whenever someone comes across your profile, that status will define you, unaware that you've probably been dead for over 5 decades.

This got me thinking... What is my Facebook status right this very moment???

Gawd I am SO screwed...

My Evaluation

2010-01-17T02:22:00.002+08:00

It's been more than a week since my arrival in KL. Living alone in the big city certainly brings about changes and ogle-worthy moments. I wouldn't say it's a cultural shock, but nahh more or less~ Yes, although I harvest paddy plants in Kedah everyday, I DO go to KL a lot mind you... But anyways, this is what I think of living here so far:

Most content below are somewhat exaggerated. Please do not be offended, note that I don't discriminate and almost everything I write below, I take it as a joke. If you ARE offended, tell me, I'll smack myself =D

1. Foreign workers are everywhere
Like seriously. When I walked into Asia Cafe, the cooks, the cleaners, the fruit sellers, the cats and the aunties were all foreigners... The bright side is I don't have to worry about having to order food in Cantonese because well, they barely speak English let alone Cantonese (not discriminating, really~ nano amitabha lol)

2. Things here are effing expensive
The first time I went to a food court around here, I ordered a medium teh peng and my jaw friggin dropped when I saw it was like RM3.xx~ Like WTF I never knew the value KL's tea was the same as petroleum!!! The average price of food here is like around RM 4 or RM 5 which is like SO not worth it. I'm not saying KL food isn't as nice as Penang's. *wink wink nudge nudge cough cough* But, no really, I think they're about the same so why pay more for the same thing that I can get back at home?

Well cos I don't want to starve to death~

3. Room mates
are cute! LOL I'm lucky to have gotten a room mate that isn't a slob, eccentric, lazy, or some weird serial killer bunking at a college hostel selfish. My house mate, who is set on turning me into a giant, useless, and disturbingly obese kid, is also great, though I think A-levels has finally managed to get to his brain =D

My other room mate isn't here yet, but other than the awkward silence that I have to endure throughout the whole day, my relationship with my Mongolian room mate is pretty much normal. Though we do have that language barrier that I SWEAR is gonna get me killed one day...

Me: So this blender, it's ok if I put my hand inside and press this button?
Room mate: Yes

4. People actually go to private schools here
To imagine I was so awed by the fact that Emily decided to attend a private school when she was in Form 4. But really, they are more private schools here than in Penang and maybe it's the fact that they're all just freaking rich bastards people here want a better education, I don't know~ From where I come from, if you go to a private school, we look at you weirdly and write you off as an alien.

Kulim people are mean... or maybe it's just me XD

No Yee Von I don't think you're an alien =]

5. People here have freakishly long redundant names
You have to know that I'm very ulu. I mean the first time I found out Hannah's last name was Jonas, even THAT amazed me to no end. So imagine my reaction when I find out someones name is Jennifer Tan Sarah Mariah Britney Christina Miley Gaga Ellen Ashlee Brad Pitt~~~ It's like some people here have more than one Christian name... I'm not saying it's a bad thing but in the Kulim Book of Uncivilized Crap, that rarely happens back home =D

6. Transexuals work at malls
Okay like this is really really really new to me. In Penang, this NEVER happens (or I haven't been looking in the right places) I went perfume testing with my sister (FOR my sister mind you) I did a double take the first time I saw a transexual working at the counter 0_o Maybe it's cos people in KL are more open or something, I dunno~ I'm not condemning transexuals or anything, but it's just... wow lol

7. Everyone smokes
Even the people that look like guai zais smoke! If they aren't smokers now, they would have had at least smoked once before. Blah if I smoked, my parents will probably disown me, skewer me with a rusted iron pole, leave me to die of tetanus, before sticking a scalpel down my throat. Okay slightly exaggerated... but not much! lol

8. Cats are everywhere
This isn't a KL thing, but it's a MyPlace thing. It's like a freaking breeding ground here. Cats are at your doorstep, your window, the poolside, the corridors, and strangely enough, on the window sill of the 4th floor. But that's really besides the point~ Really, my apartment is like Grandma Heaven.

9. My friends think I'm a fag
Well, that's another story XD

Stephenie Meyer didn't think it through...

2010-01-15T23:37:00.001+08:00

One fine day...

Michelle: You know Twilight is so not logical.
Me: 0_o y?
Michelle: You know how Jasper went all crazy just because Bella had a tiny paper cut?
Me: Hmmm?
Michelle: Then what about when she gets her period?

I laughed my head off~ lol I never thought of that! blah wtv, Twilight sucks...

and that's a fact =D

Cold Showers

2010-01-15T02:27:00.000+08:00

I know it's hard to believe (well not really), but for the 7 days I've been here, I have had NO idea how to turn on the hot water in the bathroom. So for a week, I've been taking cold showers (don't think dirty you pervs), which are horrible, especially in the morning.

I HAVE tried to ask my room mate, but again, if you ARE reading this, it's not I'm scared to talk to you, but I've asked you before and you seemed so confused and I looked like I was kek si-ing you, so I'm VERY paiseh to ask you again =D

But today, under some unknown magical circumstances, I suddenly had hot water running!!!! Like seriously, this is a HUGE achievement~~~ And I don't know what I did different! Usually the numbers don't light up and I'm stuck with ball shrinking ice cold water, but I somehow managed to turn it on. The first time I got it to work, I took like a freaking long shower =]

The number "28" has never seemed so inviting =D

Vagina Cancer

2010-01-13T21:41:00.000+08:00

In response to this post, my cheeky friend Poh Heng sent me a message on Facebook...

WTF and he posted that fugly picture of me!!!!!!

Of Computer Illiterate Parents

2010-01-11T23:39:00.000+08:00

At home, I have three roles

- the whiny biatch

- the computer technician

- the secretary

Whenever there's a problem with the internet, modem, or anything related to our life support machine a.k.a the computer, I'll be the one that TRIES to fix and prod around to settle the problem. As long it's just a very basic problem, I'm able to fix it most of the time (STRESS on most of the time). And if there are any letters or reports, I'll help type them out (this only applies to my computer illiterate parents lol) But with me leaving for college, my parents will be kinda lost when it comes to technology.

Like seriously. My dad doesn't know how to turn on a computer~

And my mum has to do this thing where she gives the green light to foreign workers to work here in Malaysia by evaluating their health (weird diseases and all), through this company called Fomema. I usually do all the online form filling for her, but with me gone, she's well... helpless

So to TRY and solve this, I tried making a guide for her

I prepared a picture guide for her... I wrote down every measly detail and drew every friggin diagram so that she wouldn't get confused

Yes, I'm aware my writing sucks ==

See? I'm such a filial son! Now raise my allowance XD

I'm Addicted To The Internet

2010-01-10T23:15:00.002+08:00

I'm addicted to Facebook. I get restless if I don't update my Plurk even for one day. And I can't go on without reading the blogs I stalk. So being the desperate bozo that I am, I really beh tahan-ed after like one hour without Internet connection in my room. After a quick meal with Yi Zhen, we both decided to run over to McDonalds to use their free Wi-fi. All was fine...

till it was time to go home~

Rain was pouring heavily and it seemed impossible for us to run back. And the fact that I was carrying my baby didn't help either. And the suay thing was that by the time we realized that it wasn't possible for us to run back, we had already left McD.

Being a responsible and quick thinking individual *cough cough vomit*, I thought of the most rational and logical thing to do...

I camped at Starbucks and used THEIR Wi-fi o(^_^)/

Resourceful aint I? XD

Hostel

2010-01-09T23:37:00.002+08:00

I'm currently blogging from my hostel room. It's really not too bad. Better than what I expected, really. I finally plucked up the courage to ask my Mongolian room mate for the Internet password. If you're reading this, it's not that your very intimidating, it's just that... you're too cute to talk to LOL

I'm sharing with another two people, so it's like a triple sharing room. Classes haven't started yet so I'm free till Tuesday. So I'm gonna hang out with Joe Anne at MidValley tomorrow and shop till my legs have to get amputated (/^_^)/

And my other room mate is coming so I have till then to hide my porn stash be presentable =D

The Singing Portrait

2010-01-08T00:45:00.005+08:00

When I got home from camp a few weeks ago, I was greeted by the world's most ANNOYING portrait which my dad got from a friend. It was big, bright, and most of all, it drove all of us mad.

Every hour, the STUPID portrait would say out the time, date, and day in Chinese followed by a corny tune that varied every time it played. And the worst part was, none of us knew how to shut the freaking thing off. So thanks to this ingenious invention, I'll tio che kia (get a shock) every hour of the day =.=

Don't believe me? Watch:

Leaving

2010-01-07T14:56:00.001+08:00

I'm going off to college

Well it isn't a monumental part of my life or anything. It's just that I've helped my sister move in for college, I've seen my brother drive off to college for the first time, and I've witnessed my eldest sister cram for college exams. So it's something that I've been anticipating for a long time, and being the "youngest brother that's stuck in secondary school", reaching this phase of my life is pretty... well whee~ =D

I'll be going to Taylor's College tomorrow (in case this post wasn't clear enough). From what I've heard, the place I'll be staying at is small, cramped, dirty and is hopefully big enough for my doll collection stuff. The only upside is it's opposite a zillion eatery shops. Starbucks, McD, you name it~ I'm gonna grow fat T____X But really, I'm not looking forward to studying as I haven't been near a book in a month (bimbo magazines don't count) but I guess it's better than NS (I'm 2nd/3rd batch btw XD)

I haven't started packing yet. That's because there's just too many things to pack... and mostly cos I'm lazy XD I'm gonna miss the piano at home T.T Hopefully the college has a music room or something like that~

I'll be sharing a room with two other people. Until we get Internet in our room, I think I'm gonna set up camp at McDonald's for their free Wi-fi. *sigh*

Hope my room mates are lengzais decent people =X

Taylor's

2010-01-06T21:26:00.002+08:00

Chia Chee is going to Taylor's

Ashwini is going to Taylor's

Izmira is going to Taylor's

Hannah is going to Taylor's

Vee Vian is going to Taylor's

WHY ARE THERE NO GUYS GOING TO TAYLOR'S?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Well Hillary doesn't count! He goes back home!!! I need guy friends to screw to hang out with!!!

If you're a guy, and you plan on going to taylor's, the chatbox is on the right~ =D

What I Can't Do

2010-01-06T19:48:00.002+08:00

Can you people stop dyeing your hair?????????????????? I know my hair looks like this:

Stop making your hair look like this:

In my parent's book, there are three things that they FORBID me to do

1. Dye my hair (pink, green, yellow, orange, rainbow. All are off limits)
2. Get a piercing (ear, belly button, tongue, nose, penis [though no one would notice XD])
3. Get a tattoo

My parents damn pantang these things one. If I dye my hair, they'll personally shave me bald. If I pierce my ear, they'll punch a hole through my face and ask me to wait for it to close. If I get a tattoo, they'll disown me.

But I'm not really a fan of these things cos I think dyeing my hair will make me look like a monkey tho piercings do sound tempting but I'm very “乖” one... 看不出咩？？？XD

In a completely unrelated topic, I'm looking for friends in KL that can drive~ You drive, I supervise XD Any takers? I'm desperate, I know =X

I just noticed I have really stubby fingers 0_o Blah random rant~

Of Forwarded Messages

2010-01-05T22:46:00.001+08:00

Lately, my friends have been sending me this forwarded message with the subject "Wong Kang Zheng"

What I found in it was rather... errr amusing. It's either Wong Kang Zheng is an extremely unfortunate individual with 'man' problems, or his friends are just a bunch of assholes lol Either way, he's screwed.

Personally, I think it's a very smart way to degrade a person. Can you imagine if someone forwarded your picture to hundreds of people saying that you have a serious, fatal case of a lopsided boob job erectile dysfunction? Seriously, I would hunt down that person, disfigure his/her face, rip out his/her testicles/ovaries and stuff it down their throat and force them to regurgitate them afterwards =.=

But that's really besides the point XD

I mean, it's ultimate humiliation. And now people around the world will know him as the 'Poor Sexually Abused Wong Kang Heng'

What if someone did the same thing to me???????

Gawd, I just blackmailed myself =.=

Noob

2010-01-03T20:49:00.000+08:00

Referring to this post

Apparently, the hard drive IS compatible with Mac. You just have to reformat it with some weird Disk Utility (like who would have thought of that? =.=) Just tweak here, tweak there, and I don't have to buy a new one =D

Thank god I found a guide here or I'll be wasting another RM200+ =.=

I'm a Mac noob... sue me~

I'm leaving for KL soon... Wanna go there and start over =] Maybe I'll start telling people my name is Pierre LOL

New Year Countdown

2010-01-02T22:08:00.001+08:00

I have this extremely, disturbingly strict curfew at 12 midnight whereby I HAVE to be home or my dad will go on a freaking killing spree. On this year's New Year's Eve, my sisters and I went to Queensbay to buy my bag, belt and anything pretty in a 1 meter radius other stuff that I would need for college in KL.

We intended to reach home after watching The Princess and The Frog (nice movie btw XD) at around 9, but when we saw the New Year preparations and the crowd, we didn't feel like going home. And we also bumped into my cousin Alvin and his other cousins (my cousins once removed....... I think 0_O)

Surprisingly enough, after numerous attempts to call my dad to initiate a mature and reasonable debate on why he should give an exception to his life-long rule on how we should be home by 10 (all by Joe Anne of course XD we're chickens) he let us stay for the countdown!

But of course, once the shock had wore off, we realized we still had 2 hours to kill. So we blew off our remaining money at Dome... where we had an interesting conversation with the waiter

Joe Anne: I want one Fluffy Koala and one Squashed Frog
Joe Den: *weird*

When it finally came to the countdown, to be honest, it was pretty boring. We stood at the back of the crowd, listening to some Chinese concert that I didn't bother TRYING to understand. And the fireworks weren't that awesome either =.= Which explained why we went home the second the fireworks ended lol

Alvin and I

With everyone rushing home, the place was jammed like crazy. And the police didn't help by doing a friking road block in the middle of the bridge -.- Thank god I wasn't driving slept through the whole thing cos we reached home at 3 in the morning.....

The only highlight of the night was when I spotted Nicholas Chan!!! He was surrounded by his friend so I didn't get a chance to say hi and tell him that I stalk his blog =D

I'm scary, I know~

New Year

2010-01-01T10:11:00.002+08:00

I really can't believe it's been a year since this post. So much has happened, so much has changed, and my circle of friends didn't just expand, it exploded. In retrospect, I realize that maintaining a blog serves as a diary in a way (not that I have been doing a very good job at keeping mine alive). I find it somehow comforting to know that all my silly thoughts and escapades have been immortalized (sort of) in my numerous posts.

Although I'm really not too sure who actually reads my blog for its content (I know random people flood my blog to see the picture of a sexy swimsuit model here) which happens to be my blog's main source of traffic (it's sad, I know T_T)

Let's see what I love about 2009

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Rocked my last instrumental performance with Marcus, Zhimin, Zhi Wei, and Vivian after 5 years

Had Marcus and Zhi Ang come to my house so many times, it looked like their own

Got shortlisted for the IMPAC Dublin Literary Awards For Young Malaysians and brought back a merit award. Shocked. Dumbfounded. Flabbergasted. Words that barely describe my feeling at that time. Found new friends like the bubbly Hannah , the oh so wise Phraveen, and the ridiculously smart Hillary (male lol)

Came up with an ingenious idea to ask my friends to teach me how to type in Chinese... 所以我现在会看和打一些话语字！！！我的香蕉的程度变比较底了！！！ lol

Got addicted to Facebook

Made one of the best decisions of my life by agreeing to participate in Chopin Night. I met friends like Poh Heng, Nicholas, and Eugene that literally put smiles on my face =]

Learnt the basics of photo editing thanks to Yi Zhen

Got my L and P license for my motorcycle which lead to nonsensical trips to Zhi Ang's and Marcus' house

I lost count of the number of MMS' that Zhen Huan and I sent to each other

I'll miss the ice cream that we would buy after Puan Yap's Chemistry tuition just because we were bored

Had so much fun on Plurk with my original Plurk Buddies, Jia Yie and Wendy. I remember how much we laughed, crapped, and bitched.

After 17 years, I've learnt how to smile for the camera XD

Enjoyed every moment of our free time during Account period with Yi Zhen and Marcus. All the crapping and laughing that we did just brought us closer together =]

Savored the opening of Kulim's first mall + cinema

I'll remember all the birthdays we celebrated in school =(

For some reason, I started talking to Jordan a lot this year and now he always asks me to go to Melaka to drink his river water and lick his historical buildings lol ==

Had a crush on an EXTREMELY unlikely person

Got all my friends wondering and guessing because of the whole "G" fiasco XD

Expanded my 'Chow Ah Kua Productions' to editing pictures a well

Got my first laptop!!!

Went to 挑战营(Challenge Camp) for the second time and had a blast =D

This year has definitely been an eventful one. It pains me to know that I'll be leaving most of my friends cos I start college in January =[ I'll meet new people, I'll do new things, but I'll always remember the wonderful secondary school life that my friends managed to provide *^.^*

Happy New Year~

Hard Drive

2009-12-28T23:01:00.001+08:00

I got myself an external hard drive for a pretty decent price

Mostly cos it's actually my brother's old laptop's hard drive in an awesome casing that cost around RM 60+

Its capacity (160GB) is smaller than a regular external hard drive that's available in the market, but I didn't really mind cos 160GB is more than enough for all my porn important files.

I was so excited cos well it looked so classy and the design was genius~~

But after all I ogled and jumped up and down all I wanted...

I found out it wasn't compatible with my Mac -_-'''

Suay~

Random Pic #12

2009-12-27T11:39:00.000+08:00

And thank god I won't be doing Add Maths like forEVER =D

挑战营 (Challenge Camp)

2009-12-25T21:16:00.001+08:00

I still remember that feeling of excitement and ecstasy when camp ended last year. I kept on yelling out to my group members, making it clear that I wanted to see them next year. I intended to relive the craziness we went through and just regroup and laugh at old times. The moment camp ended, I knew...

I was going again the next year.

Sadly, only four of us returned this year =[

This year wasn't too bad but not as good as last year. The games were a tad mundane and all the small details like hitchhiking on lorries and cars, that WEREN'T allowed this year, took all the fun out of it. I don't regret going, but it could have been better.

Now I'll let the pictures do the talking XD

My lao po (wife) last year... my lao gong (husband) this year LOL

the annoying biatch tomboy that I have come to love =)

Bang Cheng the monk~

the not-so-innocent monk may I add lol

As if tradition, we had to suck up our dignity and humiliate ourselves in the public by selling kaya bread for RM 3 in the market and singing for money (RM10 for one song... really not bad lol)

All in all, this year was fun, but nothing to shout about. I would be lying if I said I found it boring and a total rip off... I still met new friends, I still partied like no tomorrow, and I still screamed myself hoarse~ But whether I'll still be joining next year...

I'm still in denial =)

我说德岛你说棒...德岛...棒!!!德岛...棒!!!德岛...德岛...棒棒棒!!! mina isuke... haik!!!

Of Sentimental Value

2009-12-25T19:50:00.001+08:00

More than a year ago, I told myself that I would wear the orange bracelet I got from camp until the next Challenge Camp

And so I did =]

Now I put it somewhere so that it will always be close to me

I'm a sentimental type of person... sue me =]

Away~

2009-12-17T14:09:00.000+08:00

I'll be away for FOUR days =D A busy busy month for me

挑战营！挑战营！挑战营！挑战营！挑战营！挑战营！挑战营！挑战营！挑战营！

Mac

2009-12-17T11:55:00.000+08:00

I recently got myself a...

MAC!

It's like a breath of fresh air as I have been a loyal PC user all this while. The interface is certainly smoother and the trackpad is to DIE for. Switching the computer on and off is a thousand times faster than a regular Windows OS laptop and not to mention considerably lighter (compared to most laptops anyway)

But what I miss about using a PC is a fully functional Windows Live Messenger... All we Mac users get is a crappy Microsoft Messenger that looks like a medieval version of its Windows counterpart. I'm using Adium. Slightly better, but nothing compares to the original =( I also can't use Photoscape so I'm left with no photo-editing software (iPhoto is too basic) and I'm too kiamsiap (stingy) to buy a Microsoft XP software CD =D

I'll be attending the Challenge Camp (挑战营), which I went to and blogged about more than a year ago, tomorrow... Not sure if I should feel excited or nervous. Maybe both? I'm mostly nervous cos I have to flash my reputable 'I-don't-know-wtf-you're-saying-but-I'll-just-smile-and-nod-anyways' smile whenever people blabber something in Chinese too fast... haih watto do, I'm a banana (half-banana call it wtv u want =.=)

But I know I'll come out smiling anyways =D

Internet-less #1

2009-12-14T11:30:00.003+08:00

Quite some time ago, I was watching Desperate Housewives on PPS (Hey, my guilty pleasure ok!) Being the blur and ignorant person that I am, I failed to notice that thunder was rumbling and torrents of rain had begun to splatter my windows. So naturally, as my eyes stayed glued onto the screen....

Okay slightly exaggerated, but NOT MUCH!!!

My modem FREAKING blew!

Which explains this long, windy rant. But anyways, my ears were ringing and the room smelt strangely like burnt eggs lol seriously. After turning off the switches and stuff I decided to check out the damage later on.

It wasn't very pretty

The telephone wire had snapped cleanly at the end, leaving the remaining head to be stuck in the modem.

After numerous attempts with pliers, screwdrivers, tweezers, and strangely enough a hammer, I finally got the bladdy thing out. But it didn't really matter cos the modem was fried anyways... but just as a comparison

Other than my modem being rendered useless, my network card and my motherboard had to be replaced. My Astro also decided to turn on me at the same time. Absolutely no entertainment at home. Not cheap. Trust me. T____T and all this happened right before my SPM. A sign maybe?

Didn't really care lol cos I got a new one a few days later =D

And so, life was complete once again =D

But the strange thing was that when I left the room to find my dad after the thunder had struck...

Dad: Where is Joe Vynne?

Me: 0_o

*Both of us turn to look outside the window*

Joe Vynne was standing in the middle of the field playing with the dogs =.= dotz

And thus the slacking begins...

2009-12-12T11:49:00.003+08:00

My post-SPM plans are somewhat similar to Christmas; they both have lists!

1. Get married to my computer
2. Celebrate my birthday with friends
3. Watch a zillion movies at the only cinema in Kulim
4. Go out with Emily and Joe Vynne
5. Meet Aaron
6. Buy a new laptop (Weeee =D)
7. Buy a new bag
8. Get a new watch
9. BBQ at my house! (Plus bitching, lazing around, and throwing people into the pond XD)
10. Do absolutely nothing
11. Go all the way to Seberang Perai Jusco for pizza
12. Challenge Camp (挑战营)!!!!!!
13. Family gathering at Cameron
14. Intensive driving lessons (why am I born in December?!?!?!?! X___X)
15. Movie marathon with Poh Heng/Marcus/myself
16. Hot & Cold MV (lol *shrugs*)
17. Get a haircut
18. More motor lepak escapades with Zhi Ang
19. Force Marcus to take us out somewhere far (I love these vagaries XD)
20. Go bother Alvin+Adrian (or the other way round)
21. Make a new e-mail so I don't embarrass myself =.=
~~22. Jump off Penang bridge~~

The holiday's have BARELY begun =D

Woots!

2009-12-10T23:29:00.001+08:00

Pretty late update. The beginning of my post-SPM party plans haven't exactly been 'smooth' but more on that later =D

Very Random

2009-12-07T14:17:00.001+08:00

Going to Zhi Ang's house. Hope I don't get hit by a ~~lorry~~ car.

Extremely random update C=

Uncyclopedia!

2009-12-06T19:54:00.003+08:00

I came across a rather amusing website today

It's called Uncyclopedia!!!

Basically it's something similar to Wikipedia (even the layout and logo is almost the same) but it's more of a parody to its counterpart.

While other international examinations are increasing in standard every year, the SPM examination has shown a steady decline compared from 70s and 80s until today
For example, take a look at actual questions for SPM Math:
1960s - The equation 3x^2+px+120=0, where p >0 has roots α and β. α-β=3. Evaluate the value of p and (αβ)^2. Hence, calculate the third derivative of y=3x^2+px+120.
1980s - The quadratic equation x^2+px+q=0 has roots -2 and 6. Find the value of (p+q), hence, form a quadratic equation with roots p, q
2000s - A quadratic equation has the roots 2 and 3. State the sum of 2 and 3.
2020 - If the number 2 is a color, would you like that color? Why?

I actually got this from a Facebook link and was about 'Malaysia'... I mean it's supposed to be a parody, but some of it is true.... in a perversely racist way XD but I laughed all the way nonetheless hehe

Ibans are so technologically advanced race that they stay deep inside the jungle. They gave name to IBAN number in banking (Iban number is the number of Iban workers working in a bank). Malaysians do not speak of Ibans anymore because have changed they name from Iban to Kelabit (pronounced Club IT). This is to show their devotion the technology.

The entry about Malaysia is OBVIOUSLY written by a Chinese (judging by how words like walaoeh come out lol) so if you're very into the 1Malaysia spirit, I REALLY don't recommend you clicking on this link well mostly cos it's ~~a bit, a wee bit, kinda, mildly, quite, very~~ damn racist~

Seriously

Voting for opposition parties is totally pointless. Not only that they are just as stupid as BN, but also if you are found promoting opposition party ideologies, criticize the government too much or question the concept of Ketuanan Melayu, you will be jailed without trial under the ISA or also known as the Incest Sex is Alright. If you do not support BN/UMNO, then you are an oppositionist which means you will have no money and no press coverage.

But I would be lying if I said I didn't laugh XD

PLKN is military training and sex education in a single package. Each year there is at least one person who got his cherry popped (anally violated to be exact). During the course the trainer will often rape the trainee or vice versa. The males are always the victim - why the girls are somehow spared is unknown.

And WTH there's even an entry about Mawi...

This Arab-wannabe Malay came to Akademi Fantasia in 2020 as a time traveller who found it awkward to even take a few dance steps, however Asahina-san from The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi has taught Mawi the basics of time travel and therefore he has been trapped in a time paradox in which he has oral sex with a sheep over and over

These people have everything!!!!!!

Two days to freedom

Flowchart

2009-12-01T19:52:00.001+08:00

Random

2009-11-30T17:29:00.001+08:00

One fine day...

*SMS*
Hillary: Shit! I'm really addicted to *insert name of Chinese show I don't know how to read here*! Say something to discourage me! I keep watching episodes till episode 27 today! Help!

Me: Smash your modem lor... or ask your mum to keep your CPU..

Hillary: NO, just give harsh advice to discourage me!

Me: Uhhh you bladdy asshole! Got a few days left and you still watching this crap? Do you want to lose you chances of getting a scholarship and live on the roadside, begging and grovelling for leftovers that even dogs, cats, monkeys, and cookie monsters are disgusted by?!?!?!? You are an embarrassment! You have the self control of a paperweight! You are a pathetic low life piece of shit with not enough brains to fill an eggcup so turn off that fucking TV now or I will emasculate you faster than you can say "JPA"!!!

Hillary: Thanks! I think that worked... Maybe the effect will last 3 days hopefully/ No need to reply cos I wanna study now! Thanks :)

Me:

Random FTW!

Thing #24 to Do Before I Turn Senile

2009-11-26T18:07:00.000+08:00

Participate in the Penang Bridge International Marathon 10km Fun Run!

I'm in it, ~~for the free T-shirt and goody bags~~ to win it!

Joe Den.needs.freedom.

Name Decoder

2009-11-25T11:17:00.001+08:00

Facebook has this weird application that apparently is able to decode your name and turn it into a face... Aiya Facebook is memang filled with all this crap

But what the hell, I gave it a go XD

and the result was....

I couldn't agree more!!!! =DDD

Nahh.. results

Thats an ass!!! Not a face!!!

Feel The Pain

2009-11-24T19:44:00.003+08:00

I met with a horrific accident that made me suffer throughout today's exam

I tried my best to remain calm and composed, but the throbbing pain in my foot didn't exactly make it easy for me. Heck, I couldn't even walk properly to school!

It's such a pain (no pun intended) to have to bear with this DURING my exams. I still have 4 more subjects to get through and I need all the concentration I can get~~~ I think I did fairly well in Moral, but if the pain wasn't there... I know I could gave done a lot better

I'm trying...

I really am

But would you be able to concentrate if you had THIS on your foot?

nolaaa a stapler fell on my foot lololol

Just a random update XD Add Maths tomorrow. Are you ready? Cos I know I'm not =D

Joe Den stared at Zhi Ang's younger brother's class picture to see if there were any 'shuai di' lol is that even a word?

听说

2009-11-22T18:25:00.004+08:00

I heard...

that next year's English literature will be a novel on Rumpelstiltskin

Pure retarded-ism

Whats next? A novel on the race between the turtle and the rabbit?

Oh wait, they ALREADY did that

"Perlumbaan Kedua"

Joe Den wants to slack~!

Screwed Over

2009-11-21T22:32:00.002+08:00

I am so TULAN now

The other day, my computer got fried cos of a thunderstorm... My modem blew up, my network card was rendered useless (2nd time this year garrr), and my computer, turned green -_-

Well when you turned on the computer, everything on the monitor turned into a sickening shade of green (didn't manage to snap a picture though)

But thats NOT the part that makes me wanna rip out someones testicles

So naturally, I sent my ~~worthless piece of crap~~ PC to a computer shop and after all the poking and prodding and explanations, I had to

Buy a new wireless modem
Change my network card
Replace my motherboard

SUAY!

I am beginning to feel the effects of my 'stim-stim'-ness lol

Since he had to change everything, he was going to need to reformat the computer, and I dengan begitu bodohnya went ahead and trusted the bladdy fellow

Anyways, after a few days, the guy called and said that it was going to be impossible to fit in the new motherboard because the processor was bent, and I had to get a new one

WTF?????????????? I didn't touch that processor before this ok?????? But I managed to find out that it was indeed that ~~son of a bitch's~~ guy's fault, but he had to find a second hand one, cos my computer is like a 1000 years old

And so that took another 4 days for him to find... And today, when my mum and I went to collect it, I checked the computer (at the shop) and NONE of my files were backed up

LIKE WTF?????????????????????????????

I have like over a thousand pictures that I have systematically arranged according to their dates so that I can search for them easily in the future... and BOOM gone! ALL EFFING GONE!

But what I beh tong the most, is how the guy made his ~~retarded~~ innocent face and kept on saying

"I saved it in back up"

There was NO trace of ANY back up files made~~~~~~ Not even ONE measly Microsoft Word document!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All my pictures and videos GONE

And the guy said "If we didn't back up, we will tell you we didn't back up. We won't try to run."

So if you're too incompetent to back up my files, what DO you say?

OMGKNNCCBWTFBBQ SAUCE!

My songs all lagi no need to say la

But I don't really mind cos I have some of my songs backed up in my phone... Actually not 100% of my pictures are gone. I have most of them in my phone but all the edited ones and videos have vanished WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

and thats not all! In the end... the guy charged me RM30 to replace an old processor that HE bent

凸-_-凸

AND my computer now can't read Chinese characters AND for some reason, my computer can't read the CDs that I put in.. which means I can't install my printer which leads to me not being able to print any shit!

SCREW HIM LIKE SERIOUSLY

So in the end, I have:

Lost all my pictures, videos, documents, and songs

A computer that cannot read CDs

No printer

A computer that can't read Chinese characters

There's something wrong with my MSN on this computer, can't stay logged in for more than 1 minute

Wasted more than RM300 to get back a useless computer

Blah! I have SPM and he made me pek chek over this - -

How To Score In Exams

2009-11-18T00:49:00.006+08:00

For those of you that have forsaken your studies...

My shortcuts to success:

Buddhist pendant and necklace for good luck

A 'blessed' singlet that I'm supposed to wear under my clothes

Hell lotsa bracelets

And some weird stuff that I'm supposed to swallow everyday~

My family might not be superstitious, but when it comes to studies, we get desperate XD

SPM officially starts today... See you on the other side ^.-

And oh ya, most important

A dice for objective questions =DDDD

大家加油！！！

Joe Den says there's something wrong with Flickr... so yea, crappy small images~

Of Chauvinist Retards

2009-11-16T19:14:00.000+08:00

OMGKNNCCBWTFBBQ SAUCE!

This.Is.Retarded.

It's one thing to be racist, but to be racist on BBC is a WHOLE different story.

I mean he doesn't have to be a chauvinist PIG on national TV.

Don't get me wrong, I do have really super, awesome Malay friends, so I'm not ranting in general... just about this brainless, linguistically challenged, ~~dumbass~~ 死废材

Yes, it may be true, and yes, I quote "The big metal" behind him represents the Malays, and yes they have special privileges over us "non-malays" but have you heard of being

SUBTLE????

Trust me, I have ALOT of racist comments of my own, but do you see me shooting my mouth off??? We, especially the younger generation, feel that this (system) is really unfair, but we tiam tiam bo chut sia (keep quiet), why can't you do the same?

I know la you sound so great and all, but I'm as much of a citizen of this country as you are.

When they proposed to offer 10% of UiTM to the non-Bumi you think it's an "incorrect suggestion to be made"... waliew, your're fretting over 10%??????? thats like 1/10 (in case your Math is just as bad as your English) of the entire student population ok?????????? Act like so damn lansi only...

Oh wait, the politically correct term would be, arrogant -_-凸

You're supposed to be a student leader, and apparently you, the 'son of the soil', get 'privileges of education and scholars'... I bet you were one of the trannys that made a big hoo-hah over the PPSMI crap

We let you push the future generation of Malaysia back into the Dark Ages by switching everything back to Malay, so "in exchange", do us a favour, shut up and use that pathetic piece of scrap metal in your head that you call a brain.

I mean, come one la... 1Malaysia ma...

Next thing you know, they'll be calling us non-malays "foreigners"....

Oh wait... that DID happen. FML

Spm day after tomorrow... still got a lot of time~~~~ slowly slowly

To Fill In The Gap...

2009-11-15T13:56:00.003+08:00

Just something to remember me by =D

Joe Den is pia-ing SPM OMGKNNCCBWTFBBQ SAUCE!

Reincarnation

2009-11-01T23:23:00.000+08:00

Anil came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as  he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was alreadyasleep. He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. ‘Who the hell are you?’ Demanded Anil, ‘and what are you doing in my bedroom?’.

The mysterious Man answered ‘This isn’t your bedroom and I’m Yamraj’.

Anil was stunned ‘You mean I’m dead That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family…. you’ve got to
send me back straight away’.

Yamraj replied ‘Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.’

Anil was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. ‘This ain’t so bad’ he thought until he felt this
strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said ‘So you’re the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?’

It’s not so bad’ replies Anil, ‘but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode’.

You’re ovulating’ explained the rooster, ‘don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before’.

‘Never’ replies Anil

Well just relax and let it happen’

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.

An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him… ever

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wifeshouting :-
Anil, wake up you drunken bastard, you’re shitting on the bed’.

Credits

Yes, this is some crap I found to fill my blog because I'm too lazy to blog about something real~

Fallin'

2009-10-29T18:51:00.001+08:00

~
I don’t know
but I think I may be
Fallin’ for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should
Keep this to myself
Waiting ’til I
Know you better

I am trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
But I’m tired of
Holding this inside my head

I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
and now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you

Oh I just can’t take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spinning out

I’ve been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’ve been waiting all my life
and now I found ya
I don’t know what to do
I think I’m fallin’ for you
I’m fallin’ for you

I can’t stop thinking about it
I want you all around me
And now I just can’t hide it
I think I’m fallin’ for you

I’m fallin’ for you
~

I know it's unlikely, but I've fallen for you...

Depressed, discontented, dumbfounded, it's coming to an end, and I still feel that I'm not worthy

PWNED

2009-10-22T19:36:00.004+08:00

I got PWNED

It really isn't THAT pathetic as it sounds

=D

*The big words are clickable

What is PWNED?

Joe Den won't be seeing Cheon Ying or Chong Yau very often anymore (".)

Piss Me Off?

2009-10-15T20:17:00.000+08:00

Screw with me....

and I will glady fill this in for you~

Joe Den sas there's something wrong with his darn computer!

Petition This!

2009-10-11T19:12:00.000+08:00

Pardon my laziness~

On 8th September 2009, debate team under University Malaya Chinese Language Society has organized a debate competition on politics in the country. They have invited a few politicians to debate on the recent political development in Malaysia. Those politicians include Victor Gu and Teo Nie Ching. The organizer also invited Teresa Kok (Seputeh MP), Wong Nai Chee (MCA central committee member) and political commentator, Koh Kok Wee to be the judges for the debate competition.On 7th October 2009, five of the university students that involved in organizing the debate competition and the president of University Malaya Chinese Language Society, Saw Yee Fung were given summon letter. They were asked to attend an inquiry on 12/10/2009 (Monday), 11.30am to determine if action is to be taken against them for violation of rules and regulations of the university.

Source: DemaMalaysia

The point is, these students have been treated unfairly. What was intended to be a friendly and educational debate has turned into a big hoo-hah, as the organizers were accused of carrying out a 'pollitically orientated' debate, which apparenty affects the people in only god-knows what way

Judging by what we have in papers, it would be unwise for one to vehemently express his or her opinions... So all I have to say is:

SIGN THIS PETITION!

Sign it if you care

Sign it if you don't

Sign it if you haven't bothered to read anything I've typed above

Just sign the blardy thing!!!

Their Facebook group

I'm number 387~

Just sign it... very trendy~ lawl

Joe Den thinks ~~1Malaysia is an extremely cool and hopeful concept~~

My Stash

2009-10-11T13:48:00.000+08:00

I.Am.In.Heaven

Joe Den feels dejected

Fun With Bing Translator

2009-10-10T00:23:00.001+08:00

After exchanging Facebook comments with my friend... I had this ~~hiao~~ totally impulsive urge to translate the chinese words that we typed...

And thats when I came across

So I just copied and pasted random parts of our conversation

A rough translation of the Chinese words is "As long as you know who 'they' are, it's fine"

After lol-ing at this I decided to try another one

A rough translation of the Chinese words is "Stupid! You can't even depend on yourself!"

Of course after these two, I thought that this translator was pretty bogus...

But, turns out, it can be pretty accurate sometimes~

I also found out this can also go the other way round

So for those who can read Chinese:

Guess what I typed in Chinese~

Word of The Day

2009-10-07T20:55:00.005+08:00

Onychocryptosis

A sophisticated word used when you want to feel smart

or it can also mean this

*cue scary music*

That may not be my toe, but a while back, I did have ~~Onychocolatepotatosis~~ an ingrown toenail, which basically means that a part of my toenail was poking into my nail bed

Onychocryptosis (also known as an "Ingrown nail," or "Unguis incarnatus") is a common form of nail disease. It is an often painful condition in which the nail grows so that it cuts into one or both sides of the nail bed. While ingrown nails can occur in both the nails of the hand and feet, they occur most commonly with the toenails.

Source: 我婆婆 Wikipedia

So that's equivalent to:

So it wasn't THAT bad but it DID hurt... sorta =D

But since it was such a burden to live with, I asked my dad to cut it out at home (one of the perks of having a dad as a doctor =D)

And the nail stuck inside was HUGE!

And of course it was wrapped up...

And removed~

I've actually had this before, but it's never been this serious, so my dad decided to cut part of the toenail out just to be safe

And so, I ~~screamed like a little girl~~ toughened up and let him cut my toe open~

Watch! =D

Note: The scream at 0.57 is not me~ seriously, I don't sound so 恐怖~

Joe Den has been thoroughly amused these past few days and for that, I thank those who I'm referring to=)

Eye Spy

2009-10-02T23:27:00.002+08:00

There's something wrong with my eye

And it's not pretty~

Joe Den tried to get his motorbike to move while the wheel was locked... Bad idea

PUKI ！！！

2009-10-02T00:28:00.002+08:00

I saw this on one of Kenny Sia's old blog entries

The Chinese words say "Let Shanghai Bank manage your finance. Bring PUKI home!"

If you are a true blue Malaysian, you'd understand why that little girl is actually hugging something very inappropriate

It wouldn't be THAT funny... if it didn't have

A SONG

~puki puki puki kawaii~

LOL that is just so wrong on SO many levels

Joe Den wonders how many of his old friends really know his Chinese name

Random Pic #11

2009-09-29T21:25:00.002+08:00

I shall not reveal the identity of this person to respect this individual's privacy...

Because Marcus wouldn't like people to know that I posted a ~~fugly~~ badly edited picture of him on my blog

=D

Joe Den just discovered Blogger's new editor system and it RAWKS!

A Broken Vase at 2

2009-09-28T14:16:00.000+08:00

This is what happens when you read Moral at 2 in the morning

NO I didn't throw a book at it or anything -.-

It still amazes me how I bothered to snap a billion pics of 'broken glass'

But I DID throw something at it though...

The Culprit:

My dog was bugging me to play, so I absent-minded-ly tossed it around

What happened to the bear later on, is a completely different story

The Culprit:

This Ugly Bitch!

Joe Den believes that at the end of every rainbow... is a leprechaun determined to rip your testicles out

Andy Lau Hoo-Hah

2009-09-26T18:23:00.000+08:00

Do you know about the whole 'Andy Lau and his wife' fiasco that the Chinese media can't seem to get enough of?

I think its ridiculous...

Because I know the true story... Of course those two kids at the funeral aren't his. People can't just assume stuff like that...

But actually, Andy Lau DOES have kids... yesh, more than ONE

The Chinese words say ' Andy Lau and his children- "Andox" '

LOL he has four! And they hang on my bedroom wall

Hey it's not really my fault people give these things to me as birthday presents~

Joe Den's new haircut makes him look like some blardy weird looking China-man

Chopin Night & A Secret Revealed

2009-09-25T13:52:00.000+08:00

Referring to this blog post...

I really would have blogged about it A LOT sooner... but Poh Heng was probably too busy chasing butterflies, so I got the photos 2 months later... lol

A few months back, I took part in this ‘Chopin Night' thing which basically is a performance where a few people get together and play a range of Chopin's Waltzes, Mazurkas, Polonaise, (for some weird reason there were no Nocturnes =.=) and a bunch of other songs from the soundtrack of Jay Chou's movie 'Secret'

I played Chopin's Military Polonaise Opus 40 #1 (sounds so sophisticated le...) and the entire Piano Battle (斗琴)Throughout the whole preparation process, I found myself traveling to and fro (around 1 hour) from Kulim to Sungai Petani for so many times that I lost count... just to practice with this ~~retard~~ guy...

But I think we pulled it off rather well =D

I'll let the pictures do the talking~

Lee Fang, Jing Joe, Poh Heng, Andrew

Nicholas~

Poh Heng, Miss Teh, Shin Yee, Me

Zhiquan and Poh Heng

Chee Seng lawl~

Yes, he likes to 'pok mong' me

I just put this random pic here cos I think I look abit like Yi Ming(most left) in this pic lolol

And of course...

Our Piano Battle (斗琴) video =D

And a more recent picture~

Indeed... I DID shoot stupid

Joe Den is aware that his stage presence sucks =.=

Bandwagon?

2009-09-20T22:40:00.000+08:00

I've noticed that a lot of people blog about what they do in their everyday life... like a DETAILED account of what they do...

So, I then came to realize that what I blog about is mostly... well crap lol

And so... I've decided to try it out =)

Here goes:

So like the other day... I woke up at like 11

which is early for me cos I always wake up very late

and then I like took a bath for like 5 minutes

then I used a towel to dry myself off

I walked out of my room with my right foot first

I looked at my watch to check the time

Then I coughed, cos I was coughing real bad

I went to meet up with my friends

On the way I heard a song I kinda liked

Then I coughed

And I talked about the weather with my sister

The weather was rather mild and calm

But it was raining like a b*tch

Then I coughed

I met my friends

And we had a very intense, deep and mature conversation

on which Pokemon we liked best

Then I coughed

I scratched my head for awhile cos it was itchy

Right before I went for lunch

which was really insipid

Then I coughed

I spent some time staring at cute ~~guys~~ girls

Just before,

I took a nap

And woke up at 11 p.m

Then I coughed

I clipped my toenails

And ate a few

Then I coughed

Just before I went to sleep at 11.15

And oh ya,

This is the grass I pissed on~

I really don't see the joy in doing this ==

Joe Den craves for Starbucks =)

A Picture

2009-09-16T19:11:00.000+08:00

Another self-explanatory picture~

Joe Den is currently married to his computer and handphone

My Dark Secret Fantasy

2009-09-14T18:09:00.000+08:00

I don't usually share my deepest desires or secrets to anyone...

But I had to write this down...

The first time I saw her, I was ecstatic,
But I didn't know what it was...
Was it love at first sight? Or was it just my hormones talking?
I have never wanted something so bad
She was on my mind day and night...
I couldn't rest until I had felt the warmth of her subtle touch

I wanted to feel her gentle skin caress my hand,
and send jolts of excitement throughout my entire body,
to make me long,
for so much more

The first time I held her,
It was like heaven,
Like breathing in air for the first time,

She had the most lovely curves,
One that any person would be lucky enough to feel,
I ran my fingers down her front,
So smooth,
Just nice...
By just looking at her well-built back,
aroused me in ways I could not possibly imagine,
She was just perfect,
SO perfect

I just loved to press her 'buttons'
It gave me a sense of excitement and not to mention,
pleasure...
Every now and then,
I would give them a gentle push,
And she would let out tiny sounds,
that seemed to resonate in my eardrums forever

I could not control myself,
I would NEVER be satisfied,
Groping her from top to bottom,
I smiled, as I knew I wanted more

Excited,
I took 'it' and gently pushed it into her hole,
Oh, the pleasure!
She let out more sounds,
which sounded like music to my ears...

And the next day,
She was mine,
I had empowered her,
She was to do what I want,
Whenever I pleased...

I just love...

My new fully charged Nokia N79~

Nola... this isn't a perverted post about me feeling someone up =.=

But seriously, I LOVE my new phone =D I don't have the time to list down all of its functions blah (Yes, but I do have time to write down my 'fantasy'... don't judge me)

What I love the most is its 5MP camera... which is totally awesome considering my previous phone was a 2MP W880i

A 5MP camera phone can do wonders...

Like,

It makes Joe Anne's cooking look edible

Nolah seriously, her apple pie is nice lol

It takes awesome macro shots

And best of all...

It makes me look HOT when I camwhore/zi pai/自拍！

LOL the camera may be great...

But it doesn't grow abs =D

Joe Den wonders if anyone got hard reading this post XD

11 Minutes

2009-09-13T19:14:00.000+08:00

Do you value time?

Would you want to waste 11 minutes of your life?

Wanna find out? =D

Be a badass... Watch the entire video XD

Joe Den wonders what is the most efficient way to brutally scalp a poodle bald~

The Wonders Of Flickr

2009-09-12T19:00:00.000+08:00

I found out from some random chick's blog that you can ACTUALLY upload pics from Flickr~

Which means less time waiting, praying, and there won't be that feeling of wanting to murder the creators of Blogger for inventing such a retarded way of uploading photos!

It's ALOT faster and the pictures are WAY bigger~

A plus side if you ask me =D

So I'm gonna upload random pictures about stuff that I never got about to blog about~

It'll be one more week before Joe Den gets infected with PTS (Post-Trial-Syndrome)

15Malaysia

2009-08-24T19:04:00.000+08:00

Do you know about the 15Malaysia film projects? Basically they're just a bunch of films by Malaysian filmmakers(duh =.=) that star some of Malaysia's famous actors and political leaders (The legendary Namewee of 'Negarakuku' included =D)

Up to now (24/08/09) there have been only 4 of these videos released... but you can watch the trailers on Youtube. My most favourite one so far is....

'Potong Saga'

really seriously bladdy funny LOL

House

This one has Yasmin Ahmad in it! =)

and another one is by the late Yasmin Ahmad entitled 'Chocolate'

Somehow, I can't seem to see the bigger picture of this short film... I mean it's so abstract but yet it feels so real, with countless perspectives to view it from. And still, it touches me in ways I don't understand...

Well, that's Yasmin's magic I guess =D

*Trials nxt week... KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

What's hanging?

2009-08-07T21:22:00.000+08:00

^
^
^
What's hanging on my handphone now ^.^v

Have to hide it from my dad lololol`

Teoh Beng Hock Case Parody

2009-07-28T21:17:00.000+08:00

Do you know about the recent issue about the death of Teoh Beng Hock at the MACC building after he was being interrogated?

For those who live under a rock:

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/7/17/nation/4339346&sec=nation

Found this Youtube parody about this issue on someone's blog.. lolol really no comment

lol wth.............. and

The "Korean Version" of Mariah Carey's 'Touch My Body'- "Tuts My Barreh"

LOL pls la..... look in a mirror................... lolol

Knowing

2009-07-19T19:57:00.000+08:00

Night approaching,

the sky was still pale blue with wisps of purple strewn across the infinite sky.

The sun seemed hesitant to set,

as though it adjourned,

for me to complete my final voyage.

As the winds whistled in my ears,

with its soft velvety voice,

my lips curled into a smile

a smile of both happiness and despair,

knowing I shall not,

and will not have to,

travel down this route any longer.

Having the sounds of Edith Piaf's voice,

resonating endlessly in my ears,

I rode home,

leaving the sun to sink behind these turbulent feelings of mine.

Carpe diem.

I live for these moments,

knowing I've gained something beyond the understanding of the human kind,

knowing I've lost more than one could ever lose in a lifetime,

knowing,

knowing that the moment that I've been dreading...

has come.

自拍

2009-07-17T12:23:00.000+08:00

I've never been 自拍 (camwhore) material... You'd even be lucky to catch me smiling in a picture without looking like I've just woken up... lol

But that doesn't mean everyone has to be 'uncamera friendly' (is that even a word?)

So......

~Poh Heng's Noob Guide to 自拍~

The basics of cam whoring are quite simple. I'm sure everyone has heard of the super hiao 1 - 10 poses that you can do, which are demonstrated below:

1

2

Ok... So now that we've gone through the basics that will be your foundation towards a good cam whore picture, we will move on to more complex and intricate poses. Be sure to have a good grip on the first 10 basic poses as they will be somewhat necessary for the following poses.

-Cam Whore 101-

1 - The Finger Bite

2- The Peace Corps

3- The Dentist

4- The 'Rape Me' pose

5- The Flying Kiss

6- The 'Dig-Out-Your-Eyeball' pose

7- '007 FAIL' pose

9- The 'OMG is-he-looking-at-me?' pose

9- The Orgasmic Pose

10- The Slutty Eyes

If you have made it through the entire guide without puking... I congratulate you for being such a brave person and I do hope this guide has helped you with any cam whoring problems that you have.

And now:

F.A.Q (Frequently Asked Questions)

Q: How can I do all of the above poses without looking like a faggot?
A: You can't! Thats the beauty of it!

Q: Will people like me if I do the demonstrated poses and post it on my Friendster/Facebook/Myspace?
A: Well... people will probably block you before reporting and labelling your pictures as abusive that violate the rules and regulation of posting pictures on these websites (No pornographic material etc.)

Q: On a scale of 1 - 10, what are the chances of me getting a girlfriend/boyfriend online with these pictures?
A: -5

Q: Is the person posing for 'Cam Whoring 101' a girl????????
A: Nah... close... but it's a guy =) Sorry to disappoint you.

-END-

lol

Clue?

2009-07-12T22:35:00.001+08:00

Just a little hint to what I'll be blogging about in a week or so =D

*the photo was NOT googled lolz

Random Pics #10

2009-07-11T08:29:00.001+08:00

Blogged from phone 0_o lol Ate up my credit aaaa

QWERTY?

2009-07-02T17:37:00.000+08:00

Heard of a QWERTY Keypad before?

It's actually not just for phones... the normal keyboard we use today is called a QWERTY keyboard...

But this post isn't about telling people what's a QWERTY keypad/keyboard...

It's actually about......

NO I didn't get a new phone............

I found out why it's called a QWERTY keypad!~ lol

The first few alphabets on the top left corner of the keyboard are 'Q, W, E, R, T, Y' and THUS, the name QWERTY was born~ lol.....

Simple eh? I figured it out myself lololol

lame... I know~

Lame + Random = Landom

2009-07-01T19:12:00.000+08:00

WARNING- What you are about to see is the lamest shit EVER

We got to the 104th comment...... lololol

Sidenote: Phraveen's a nice guy I met at the IMPAC prize giving award =D